Charlotte and me: August 2012

Well as the title suggests our bundle has arrived and I am now ready to tell my story.

My last post was at 33 weeks so first i will post my weekly pictures from 30 weeks onwards.

31 weeks

34 weeks

35 weeks

36 weeks

You will notice the pictures stop at 36 weeks well this is where my story starts.

The final picture was taken on my last day of work. My mom made the most amazing cake ever and the people at work gave me a card a a couple of gifts.

Doesn't the cake look so pretty, it was a shame to cut into it but it did taste good when we finally cut it.

Well, that was Thursday 21st June. On Friday 22nd i had a midwife appointment and she said i didn't look right, i was swollen and had headaches and my blood pressure was all over the place i also had protein in my wee. She did her checks, baby was doing OK and i was measuring 36 weeks but she wanted me to get checked out at the hospital so i left and went to get checked out. I was put on a monitor and baby was fine but my blood pressure was still off so i has some bloods taken and was told i would have to come back the following morning for more monitoring as it was quite possible that i had pre-eclampsia which can be very dangerous. Just before i left one of the doctors asked if she could have a feel of my bump and she said she thought baby was a bit on the small side, so when i came in the next day i was to have a growth scan. So Saturday morning my mom took me to the hospital and i had the scan which was showing baby was small they thought between 4 and a half and 5 and half pounds, then i was monitored, had my blood pressure taken numerous times and did another wee test, I was given blood pressure tablets and was told i needed to do a 24 hour urine test so was given the biggest wee bottle ever and was told a community midwife would be out to see me the following day (Sunday). I woke up on Sunday with the biggest headache ever and when i took the blood pressure pills i was sick so went back to bed, when the midwife came my blood pressure was at 187/120 so was told i needed to go to triage. So another trip to hospital and this time i was told i was being kept in. My mom got my things and i was put on a ward. They said it was possible i would be in for the rest of my pregnancy. At this point i was 36 weeks and 3 days so in my eyes that could be weeks.

Over the next few days i was told different things about how long i was going to be in for. One doctor said they want me to get to 37 weeks then they would induce me, another doctor said they would let me go as far as possible and hope i got natural and then i had a few times when doctors told me i could be sent home. At one point i was told i may be induced before 37 weeks. I was living in limbo not knowing what was happening from one day to the next. While in hospital i was put on the monitor 3/4 times a day and had my blood pressure taken almost constantly. It was so warm in the hospital that i got a sore throat and cough so that didn't make me feel any better. I got to Thursday 28th June which is when i turned 37 weeks and was told i may be induced but then a bit later they said there were other ladies that were over due that needed to be sorted first so i didn't think it was going to happen. Visiting times for the partners was until 9pm so Adam had to go but almost as soon as he had gone i was told i was going to be started so i was put on the monitor and 9:50pm they inserted the propus which is a new way of inducing a bit like a tampon which releases the hormones. When the midwife checked me before putting it in she said i was already 1cm dilated and could break my waters but that would mean going on a drip so she would still use the propus as its more natural. Almost right away i started to feel tightnings and pressure, i had quite a restless night part from being uncomfortable and part from the excitement.

The next morning i went to meet my mom in the café for her to bring me fresh things and take my other things back and she said i was coping really well, i wasn't in much pain but it was uncomfortable to sit down as baby had dropped so low. A bit late my friend Amy came to see me and got me a piece of chocolate cake and baby a tiny baby outfit which was so sweet of her. Just before she left she asked if i had any contractions while she was there, i was having them almost constantly but i could take my mind off it by talking to her which she was surprised about. Then Adam had left work and come to be with me. we decided it was too warm on the ward and i wanted to help the process along a little so we went for a walk and took the stairs down and back up which was hard when it felt like i had a bowling ball between my legs. I got back on the ward at about 8:20 and got really hot and uncomfortable, i asked the midwife for a birthing ball and she said she would also bring a fan too. Just as she left i coughed and i felt a pop. I thought my waters had gone so went to the toilet but when i got in there it wasn't waters it was blood and i got so scared. I called in a midwife who had a look and got me back to the ward and called for help. In minutes i was hooked up to the monitor and the surgeons had been called and i was being checked. I was bleeding so much they needed to get baby out. There was so many people in my cubicle i don't know everyone but i remember the following, 2 surgeons (one with the forms for me to sign for an emergency section, one telling me what was happening), an anethatist, 4 midwives (one who had been with me from the toilet, one who was there to get the ball who was putting me on the machine and one who was talking to Adam about what was happening and one putting the cannula in my hands), 2 student midwives (they were putting on my compression socks), one doctor from ICU to care for baby after the section and another midwife at the curtains of my cubicle stopping people coming in. so in total there was about 11 people there not including me and Adam, i was in so much shock i couldn't stop crying i thought the baby was going to die. I was rushed down the corridor and it felt just like i was watching casualty or greys anatomy or something. I was given a spinal and everything started to go numb, the screen went up and they started cutting before Adam had finished putting on his scrubs, I know they say when you have a section you feel tugging but the sensation was so vile i was sick, you don't feel tugging you feel everything just without the pain. I wouldn't choose to have a section that's for sure. At 9:10pm Baby was pulled from me and lifted over the screen then taken to be cleaned and i heard a cry that's when i broke down even more knowing baby hadn't died. They wrapped and gave baby to Adam while sorting me out and getting rid of all the blood. The midwife in there asked if we knew what we were having and i was dying to know She said it was a girl and i was so happy. I had my little princess. They weighed her and she was a lot bigger than they thought she would be, 6lb 7oz but still really tiny, she was perfect though, she didn't need any help, no light treatment, no oxygen. I was stitched up and the doctor leaned over the screen and asked if i knew i had PCOS because my ovaries were that bad, it was a miracle i got pregnant at all. He then explained the reason i was bleeding is my placenta had started to break away and the blood in my uterus had caused that much pressure it had broken my waters but i couldn't tell it was my waters because it was filled with blood. This could have happened because it had finished its job, so it made me think maybe i was due closer to my dates that i went by from my last period and not the scan dates because i had baby on the 29th June when i worked out from my last period i would have been due 1st July if you look back at my previous posts. Not that it matters they stopped the bleeding and i was sent to recovery then to a private room.

So i had my princess and we called her Charlotte Faith Whittaker-Parker.

The first night was hard because i couldn't tend to her and had to keep ringing for a midwife to sort her nappies out. I tried to breastfeed which was hard but they showed me the best way to hold her.

I was given a bed bath which after all i had been though in the last few days wasn't as embaracing as i thought it would be, then i was helped out of bed and into a chair, i didn't realise i would hurt so much. Adam came up and my mom and dad came too and i tried feeding her some more. I was then transferred to another room where i would stay until i was discharged. I went home on Sunday 1st July, that morning my friend Melissa had her baby called Amelia who was 7 and half pound and then just when my mom came to pick me up to go home my sister was going in overdue and in labour. I struggled out to the car and and up to the house. Later my mom said my sister had her baby boy called Logan weighing 10lb 6oz. Glad i didn't have to push that out.

The first few night were hell Charlotte would scream all night and no matter how much i tried to feed her she wouldn't settle, i thought she was going to be one of those fussy cry babies. The midwife came on day 5 and weighed her and said they allow babies to lose 10% body weight after birth and charlotte had gone from 6lb 7oz to 5lb 6oz which was a lot more than 10%, it turns out she wasn't feeding right, she wasn't latching on properly so wasn't getting what she needed. The midwife tried to get her to latch on and realised between her being small and me having big nipples she couldn't do it so said i should try expressing and she would come back in 2 days, i should also top up her breastfeeds with 2oz of expressed milk and if i don't have enough to substitute with formula. Later that night i broke down, i couldn't believe i starved my baby. I tried to express the milk but it just wasn't coming, i didn't know what to do so i did the only think i knew would help and that was to stop trying to breastfeed and give her a bottle. I hated myself for failing but realised she needed food before she got really ill and ended up in hospital. She was a lot better at night after that, im not saying she was great but she did give me a few hours a night. she started to put on weight and at day 17 she had gone over her birth weight ant up to 6lb 11 and was discharged from the midwives and just have the health visitor come.

I know this story has been a long one but that's what i get for not keeping up to date. so i will finish off with a bunch of pictures. Thanks for reading my story and i promise i will be back more often.