Charlotte and me: September 2012

So, 13 weeks ago i was lay in recovery after the most scary but exciting drama of my life. strange part is 14 weeks ago yesterday i was just 10 minutes from the end of my final shift at work before leaving. I really don't know where the time has gone. Some times i see pictures of babies born around the same time as Charlotte and they all still look like newborns, not just the size but the fact that they are wrapped up in blankets and not really doing anything but, today i found out the door bouncer and decided to try Charlotte in it and i have never seen her so happy and content for so long. she was in there for about half an hour and she thought it was amazing. Here she is, when i could finally get her to sit still to get the picture.

When Charlotte was born i got some canvases to paint her name on and put on the wall, well this week i finally got around to putting them up along with some photos.

I really do have a problem. I am obsessed with owls. I dressed Charlotte to go shopping the other day and she was wearing her dress which has owls on it, the matching tights which have owls on them, a cardigan that was just plain, then a hat, gloves and scarf set that had an owl on it and then she had her blanket that also has an owl on it. i don't know what it is about owls but they look so cool. Here are some of her owl things, she also has more clothes with owls on but she doesn't quite fit in them yet.

She looks like she is ready for the snow.

I wanted to get a tattoo to symbolise Charlotte but didn't want her name or DOB so i thought why not get an owl. Not sure where i will get it but i am sold on that idea now.

I got trigger happy again with my phone taking loads of pictures so here you go.

My little fairy

My mom said she looks like normal wisdom lol

This outfit must have been so comfortable she decided to do an explosive poop. lol

This was when we went out for pizza for my birthday, all got a bit much for her.

OK so my rant(s).

First, i decided i was going to switch Charlotte's milk to Hipp organic thinking it would be better for her, how wrong could i be, she has been on it now for about 2 weeks and she is getting worse, she does about 3-4 poops a day but they are so small and solid she is turning purple trying to squeeze them out and gets very upset, i thought it was just because she was changing and when she settled down it would get better but its not so im going back to Aptamil hungry baby and hope she gets better.

Second, My brother is an ass, he has always been an attention seeker but now its taking the piss. Since Charlotte was born over 9 weeks ago he has made no attempt to bond with her at all, never made an effort, never talked to her or asked about her when she had lost all that weight in the first few days. It would be bad enough if he was a kid but he is 23 years old. He keeps moaning to my mom saying that im not making an effort with his girlfriend, he has been saying this for a while now and in that time i have had loads to deal with like being pregnant and working then being in hospital and having a baby and now looking after her its not as easy as just put her down to talk to his girlfriend who hasn't made an effort to talk to me either. Most of this started when i moved back home, i asked my mom if it was ok if i came back which she said yes because i was expecting and cant see us out on the streets or in somewhere that could be dangerous. When i moved out my brother had my old room which was bigger and then my mom said he would have to go back into the small room due to not fitting me and a baby and all out things into the small room and he had a hissy fit because he wouldn't fit in his tv and surround sound and him and his girlfriend wouldn't be comfortable, his girlfriend doesn't live here and doesn't pay rent so she has no say at all. So now we have the bigger room he hates it.

Third. I think the MIL has a problem with me, i don't feel comfortable going to her house because she has just put pictures up on the wall of her wedding which is fair enough but she has put up the one with Adams ex in it and im sick of having her face staring at me the while time im there. Then there is the fact that if yu look on facebook she has loads of pictures of johns kids kids and mat and sarahs fat ugly kid but none of Charlotte, when we go down here she says things like she only sees her when she is asleep, im thinking she is a fucking baby that's all she does, eats, sleeps, poops then cries and goes back to sleep. Its not like she makes an effort to come and see us either. We have to load all 3 kids into the car and all the stuff needed and the stuff Adams kids have to take home with them so that we can go to her house every other sunday and listen to her moan that they have no money because johns lost his job because of his eyesight and he wont take a factory job!!! Im sorry does he think he is too good for factory work???? I work in a factory doest this mean im not good enough?? Then when i have fed Charlotte sometimes she has a little cry because of trapped wind and her problem with her poop and MIL automatically sees her crying as a sign she is hungry, im thinking she is 9 weeks old she is drinking 6oz that is plenty im not going to over feed her to shut her up when i have to deal with her being sick later on and her ending up fat like sarahs kid who was eating white bread cheese sandwiches at 6 months old.

I have to try and put on a front so many times just so i don't upset someone but i am sick of it, i cant tell my brother to piss off because he is a spoiled brat and he will just go and moan to my other brother and sisters and turn them against me again. I am doing all i can to make Charlotte comfortable by changing her milk back and i must admit shes not a miserable child which means when she has the odd day where she is off and crying lots i don't really mind but Adam is dealing with loads of crap with his car right now so needs to take his mind off it all so i cant turn to hima and moan that his mom is pissing me off and i don't like the fact that she has the picture of his ex on her wall and on her facebook so i deleted her from facebook. I don't see the point in having her on there when all she does is post about copying and pasting posts about people in the army and send game requests and doesn't give a shit about Charlotte like she odes the other kids as there is a load of pictures of every other grand kid on there other than my child do yes i feel like shit.

Sorry for that so here is my photo over load hope you enjoy. (note these are not in order due to the amount i have up loaded it would take me way to long and i woul dget frustrated but you will get the gyst of it all)

scan at 10 weeks

mommys first out of bed cuddles

3 days old and first outing in her pram all snug

when she lost too much weight and looked really poorly

my hint of a bump when i thought i was nearly 13 weeks but it turns out i was only 10 weeks so it was just a lot of bloating but looks pretty cute

my bump at 12 weeks

scan at almost 14 weeks

at my nieces 13th birthday party, you can see me in the red and my sister is sat 3 away with logan who is 2 days younger but a lot bigger

my niece Chloe

my bump at 19 weeks

20 weeks scan

first pic of charlotte and daddy where she has more hair than he does lol

me and my mom think she looks like a reborn doll in this picture

going home outfit

the car ride home

i think she looks like the little old lady from neverending story

after her first bath

first day as a baby wearer and she gets so comfey

at the zoo

the top outfit was her tiny baby one from Amy which was too big when she was born the bottom one is what she is fitting in now at almost 10 weeks old

charlottes disney animator doll from the disney store, these is 10 in the collection and one from the movie brave, she now has the one from brave, belle and cinderella only 8 more to go