I know I know I have been slacking off on the blogging but I have been doing my college work and CBT so hope you forgive me.
OK so I have 8 posts to do now so I will try and do them in as much detail as I can.
Day 31: A picture of your family.
I don't have a picture of my whole family as we are never all in one place and never have a whole picture together so I have a couple of pictures of me with the 2 main people in my life, my mom and Charlotte.
The first picture is from when Charlotte was about 7 weeks old at her cousins birthday party and the second picture is at Charlottes 2nd birthday party with the cake that me and my mom made.
Thinking about it I think I might do a post on parties.
Day 32: If you were to write a book, what genre would it be and what would it be about.
I have always wanted to write a book but I am torn as to what it would be about. I would love to write a children's book. I don't know what it would be about exactly but probably some kind of baby explorer or something like that. I would also love to write a contemporary romance book, not any of this soppy love stories or 50 shades style but something realistic and silly because love isn't perfect. Finally I would love to write a story based on my life.
Day 33: One piece of advice you would pass on to your child/children.
The biggest piece of advice would be that you don't have to follow the crowds, it is ok to deviate from what is expected of you if it is legal, doesn't cause you or anyone else harm and makes you happy then do it.
Day 34: How has your life changed in the last 5 years?
Its quite funny that this has come up because I was looking through my old facebook page a few days ago and realised just how much has changed in the last 5 years. this time 5 years ago I was booking the church and hotel for my wedding. since then I have cancelled the wedding, split up with him, met someone new,moved out, got pregnant, ended up pregnant and alone, moved back into my parents house got back together with Charlottes dad, gave birth, broke back up with him, went back to work after maternity leave, lost my job, started college and now I am a few months away from finishing college and charlotte turning 3. so lets just say I have a very busy 5 years.
Day 35:What class do you wish you had taken in school?
I don't think I would have changed what subjects I took in school I just wish I had kept my head down and got the grades I should have got and not took so long off and ruined my grades. I do wish I had decided to become a nurse at the time so I would have been well on my way by now.
Day 36: Share a recipe.
I will share my amazing and simple lasagne, not the one with the white sauce from scratch but the one where I cheat and it still tastes amazing.
750g minced beef
1 sachet of spaghetti Bolognese mix
1 jar of cheesy white sauce
lasagne sheets
cheese
Cook the minced beef and sprinkle in the Bolognese mix, add a layer of the meat then some of the white sauce and a layer or lasagne sheets the repeat until all the meat has been used top off the meat with white sauce and top with cheese, bake in the oven for 50 minutes covered in foil then remove the foil for 10 minutes to brown the cheese.
The easiest lasagne ever and so tasty.
Day 37: Do you hide something that would shock people?
I hide the severity of my mental problems from people. A lot of people know that I suffer from depression and anxiety but not to what extent. I have suffered for so long that I have been able to hide it very well. The best way to avoid the conversation is to fake it, a lot of my life I have faked, I have put on a smile and laughed on cue while inside I am screaming for people to leave me alone and for me to be able to shut myself away. Being a parent means I have to fake it so much more. when I was pregnant and he left me I found it hard to fake it and let my guard drop. It dropped when I was seeing my midwife and had a breakdown. She said because I was in such a state she would have to fill in I form for the social services to keep an eye on us when I gave birth, I had screwed up and I thought my baby was going to be taken away. I also made the bad decision of telling her dad hat had happened then he went and told his ex who rubbed it in my face that I hadn't even given birth yet and had social services involved. He claimed he told her because he didn't know how to deal with it. so I was sent for an evaluation with a GP and for it to be sent to the social services if he believed there was a problem. So again I faked it, made it look like I had just been over come with so many emotions from being single and then hearing my baby for the first time and he said he would write to the social services and say there was no concerns and that I was just an emotional pregnant woman. I had successfully faked my way out of it. The only other time I lost control was when I was bullied at work and I just snapped, luckily for me all I did was say something really bad but in all honestly everything I said I would say it again now because what I called him was true. I didn't lash out physically but 2 men managed to convince the owners that I intimidated them enough for me to lose my job. The claimed that I had only said I had a mental issue after the incident but one of the men was my old shift manager who knew what I had been going through but then it would make him look bad because he hired the bully.
Day 38: Something you never leave the house without.
I never leave the house without my phone. It may sound quite selfish but in reality I know I can cope as long as I have my phone, I can phone for help, I can access my bank details, I can order and pay for food if I need to all from my phone. The only other thing I don't leave the house without is lip balm, that's just an obvious really.
