Day 10: what is your zodiac sign and does it match up to who you are.

I am a virgo and i do think I fit the zodiac pretty well other than the erogenous zones part i wouldnt find having a tummy massage enjoyable and i would rather have something a bit more stimulating, im not prudish and I think sex is a big thing in a relationship and i am all for experimenting lol.

Below is a guide to virgos.

Virgo Strength Keywords:

- Analytical
- Observant
- Helpful
- Reliable
- Precise

Virgo Weakness Keywords:

- Skeptical
- Fussy
- Inflexible
- Cold
- Interfering

Virgo and Independence:

Virgo is a very independent zodiac sign. They are fully able to put their intelligence to use and get things done for themselves. It is possible however that their narrow mindedness causes their creativity to suffer and they may lead regular routine lives. They may dwell too much on the past and over complicate things and this may limit their ability to move forward and confuse themselves. In conclusion, Virgos are able to be independent but the less evolved types will have difficult if someone is not there helping them to achieve more and not be so critical of themselves.

Virgo and Friendship:

People look up to Virgo for friends because they are straight thinkers and solve problems logically. They are truthful, loyal and determined. Some people might find them cold or emotionally detached because they live in their minds, not in their emotions and feelings. It might be hard to pin down how a Virgo friend is feeling because they easily live in denial. A person who is able to read deep into another person will notice when Virgo is not well but if they confront them about it, they would rather retreat then talk about it. It is best to keep your emotional distance from a Virgo friend unless they open up to you first. Virgo might try to analyze and control a friend's life but only with the idea that they will improve their life, not purely for the sake of controlling. Be patient with your Virgo friend and understand that their recommendations are only to make your life better.

Virgo and Business:

Virgos are very intelligent, they have an excellent memory and a highly analytical mind. This makes them good investigators and researchers. They also have the ability to probe into a person's emotions and they can often see into people and detect what their motives are. This makes them great policemen or interrogators. Virgos are very good at problem solving, this is what they do best. They are confronted with a problem, they will pick apart the pieces and put it together in the proper order. They are rational thinkers and are good at settling other people's disputes and putting them on the right track for reconciliation. Any position that requires the above features, which is a very long list, is perfect for the Virgo. They keep the world in order.

Virgo Temperament:

Before a Virgo plunges into anything, from a problem to a vacation idea, they need to analyze all the facts and know all the details before they plunge in and make a decision. This makes them seem indecisive and slow. Virgo's perception is their reality, more so then other astrology signs. What they believe is what will be, if they have a negative outlook on life, things will present themselves to be negative and they will be very moody and isolated/detached. If they are positive, the same events that occur will be held in a positive light and they will be a pleasant, well adjusted person. A Virgo mind is a very powerful mind and they must have the proper attitude for their life to be happy and successful. Virgo needs to get in touch with their feelings, this is why they usually seem cold or detached. They are very prone of living in denial. They will say the feel okay or everything is alright even when it's not. This is an easy way out, the one thing that Virgo does not like to analyze is their feelings so pretending everything is okay is a good defense mechanism for not having to take a closer look at their feelings. Virgo has an unpredictable and sometimes unstable temperament.

Virgo Deep Inside:

They need to be organized in their mind, sometimes all their energy is taken from organizing their mind that they have a difficult time organizing their surroundings. They easily look too deep into an issue and over analyze what they percept. Virgo is ambitious and strives to always know more and have more. This is in their eternal quest to bring order to chaos. Even if order is obtained from an outsiders' point of view, Virgo will not be settled for they have a very active mind that is always thinking and can never be silenced. Virgos want to be of use, they need to be important and essential to everyone in their lives and in everything they do. Virgo's major life lesson is to learn to trust in and have faith in the unknown. They have to understand that things in life happen for a reason that is not always known to them, they do not have to always know everything. They need to learn to calm down and not over-analyze a situation or event. Deep inside, Virgo is very sensitive and they need to be appreciated for all the things they do. When is Virgo is offended or hurt, they may never show it.

Virgo in a Nutshell:

Virgo exists in the mind, everything is inside. To the world, Virgo presents a calm and collected exterior but on the inside, nervous uncontrolled intensity in the mind, trying to figure things out, how to improve everything, analyzing and thinking. Virgo can tire itself out without even moving! Virgo has a constant drive to improve and perfect, this can lead to extreme pickiness and finickiest. They are pure, their motives are honest never malicious and they want to accomplish something. 

Virgo Love, Sex and Relationships

What it's like to date a Virgo Woman:

A Virgo woman is earthly and she may seem cold and detached, but underneath the timid, reserved surface lies the real woman, a strong, passionate woman with a great capacity for strong devoted love. She will play hard to get, she is hard to get for she is worried about exposing her emotional vulnerabilities and getting hurt. She requires patience and you will have to court her and work hard to impress her. Once she is in love, it is for the long term. She will be devoted, loyal and make you very happy and even put a little order in your life. Virgo woman is conservative and old fashioned, a typical woman who is perfect for the man who loves a challenge and likes to take a relationship slow.

What it's like to date a Virgo Man:

The Virgo man has a cool exterior with a sensitive interior. He has tremendous respect for a woman and will treat her like and equal. He likes woman who stir his emotions because he is reluctant to express his own emotions, which he tries and this often causes conflict not just inside himself, but it spills out into the relationship. This man takes patience and understanding. He will not get extremely close so do not try to enter his psyche and become closely entangled, this will make him feel threatened. He needs a classy woman who is not impulsive or unconventional. He leads a predictable life and a predictable woman will make him feel safe. He is perfect for the down to earth, conventional woman. He won't be romantic and sweep you off your feet, but he will be by your side and be very loyal. This man's sensuality comes out with time. For the woman who wants a stable, solid relationship with a visible, smooth sailing future is perfect for the Virgo man.

How To Attract Virgo:

Virgos need intellectual stimulation. Impress them with facts and details. Always try to come to conclusions when having a conversation, they do not like topics that go nowhere, they like conversations to come to a close or consensus, even if you agree to disagree. They are very conventional people so do not do anything spontaneous or force them to make a hasty decision, they take their time and think intensely in their mind. They are not slow, their brain is working evaluating everything. Do not attempt to probe inside their mind because their emotions are pretty much closed off until the relationship is solid, and they will decide when that time will be. Virgos are natural worriers, do not let this get to you. Do not give them cause to worry because this makes them get wound up like a spring. Let Virgo take the lead, they like to be in control of what is happening. Keep the date tasteful and do not be vulgar, they like calm and classy surroundings and people.

Virgo Erogenous Zone:

The stomach area is very sensitive to Virgo. Stroke it, circle their belly button with your finger, give them a light belly massage. This makes them feel warn and will help open them up a little bit. Be gentle, no sudden moves or vicious acts like biting or slapping, this will startle them and cause them to retreat.

Sex With Virgo:

As time progresses, sex with Virgo becomes more and more sensual. These are not the type of people who will engage in a one night stand, they are too reserved and prudish for that. Expect sex to be direct and straightforward, no fancy moves, places or games. Virgo is not a highly sexed zodiac sign and does not place much importance on it, if anything they consider sex to be gross and dirty. Once a relationship is solid, Virgo is willing to experiment a little bit with techniques and foreplay but like everything else involving a Virgo, it takes time to develop once all the advantages and disadvantages have been thoroughly weighed out.

Day 9: 3 things you want to say to 3 people

I am a day late again. I had to get a new phone so I am a bit delayed.

First person i want to say sonething to is Adam. I want him to really listen to me and stop trying to tell me what i am 'really' feeling so here goes.

'First off you need to move on. You are causing more harm than good by you keep sending stupid messages, letters and cards declaring your undying love for me but you keep turning your back on the one person you should live unconditionally which is Charlotte. I have no love for you any more. That was gone a very long tine ago. You knew from the start how i felt about giving people chances and you abused it. I cant think of any sane person who would have stood for what you did the first time you left never mind more than once. I was pregnant, scared and above all let down. That should have been the happiest time of my life but you ruined it for personal gain. I know you will always say you never left me to go back to her but you can't change the fact you already admitted it. You told her personal stuff about me and then did it again after Charlotte was born. If anyone was told of the things i had gone through they would say i have done the right thing. You always tried to convince me that you put your children first when.in reality you only put yourself and what you want first. You dont ask about your child, you never even asked how her treatment was going and if she still has any. Charlotte is my world and unfortunately you dont fit into that world due to your own fault and you will have to live with that for the rest of your life.'

The next person i want to say something to would be Adams mom. She never liked me or the fact that i had a different way of raising my daughter.

'For someone who was always talking about how the grandkids were the best thing in her life you have done nothing to be a part of Charlottes life. From before she was born it was all about sarahs baby because she allowed everyine else to take over so she didnt have to do it. You constantly. Slagged becci off infront of the children and infront of me when it was only because you are both so alike that you clash. When Charlotte was born you were rang at the sane time as my mom was at 11pm and you still moaned that we had waited 2 hours to ring you with the news. I had an emergency delivery which meant you were not top priority i was and Charlotte was not even Adam was a priority. I had to be saved. Luckily Charlotte was perfect but i still needed work then had to go into recovery. You were so bothered about not being told you never asked if i was ok. I didnt get my way, i didnt get the birth i wanted, i didnt even get a picture with my newborn but you were more important. Of course. I was discharged from hospital on the sunday and you didnt feel 'comfortable' coming to my house to see your grandchild so i had to bundle up my newborn on the tuesday and climb the 13 steps to get into the flat to be left alone while Adam picked you up and the whole time you were there you never once asked about me. Most of the conversation wasn't even about Charlotte. I dont know how many people understand but after a c-section.you are in serious pain, not just a bit of stinging pain in the vag, i mean you have just been disemboweled almost, you have no working stomach muscles and standing up straight is impossible. So for me to make the effort to come to you and for you not to give a crap make you very low in my opinion. Then we move on to when we would visit on the weekend. You woukd ask to hold Charlotte which you were able to then you ignored her to constantly moan about something. I was with Charlotte 24/7 but you still insisted you knew what she was crying for and not that 'mother knows best'. You undermined me like i didnt know what to do because sarah did it different. Then it came to her christening and you thought driving Johns grownup son back home was more important than being at your grandchilds special day. You even.had the cheek to ask me to change the date. All about you again. Then we have the time i finally got rid of Adam and you were asking when.you were going to see Charlotte because i wasnt letting Adam see her. You never listened to me i said i had given him the option of when to see her and you would have to arrange with him when you could see her. Then you even had the cheek to ask if you could come and pick her up from me and take her to your house. You let Leah ride in a car with no carseat before and.you almost let her choke i would be crazy if i let my child go anywhere out of my sight with you. Since then you have made no contact with me or sent a birthday card or anything but its ok. She gets all the love she needs from other people and you can spend as much time as you like slagging people off and treating sarahs kids like crap. Charlotte is much better off.'

Final person is my mom its very short but it says it all.

'Thank you for everything. If you didnt do everything you do i wouldnt cope. I couldnt wish for a better mother if I tried. You are helping to make me a better mother and Charlotte to reach her best potential. Thank you for believing in me i love you so much.'

Day 8: 3 things from your bucket list

I have quite a few things on my bucket list. Most of them are places I want to go which I did in a previous post but I can pick a few different ones.

First is I want to get married. I had it all planned before but it never happened.  I want that that one day where I am a princess and to have a day celebrating the love I have for someone. I have a little problem of not having that person to marry.

Second I want to learn to surf. I was going to book myself a day at surf school when we go to Cornwall this summer but I just cant afford it so that will have to be put on hold.

Third I want to graduate uni and become a children's nurse. Its not something most peolle would class as a big thing but for me this is a big thing. I just have to get into uni first which I am struggling with.

Day 7: what are you reading or what was the last thing you read.

So I love reading but since being in college I dont seem to have mich time to read other than in the bath. I am part way through the second book in the hardwired series which is a series of books sinilar to 50 shades but have a lot better story like to them. I did stop reading it for a bit to re read the 50 shades books before I went to see the movie which I must add was very mediocre.  It sort of flatlined. There didnt seem to be and ups or downs just kid of stayed on one level which made it quite boring.

Anyway I digress.

I will get back to reading as I feel like all I seem to do is go to college and do my motherly duties and I need to break the cycle.

I have only done a few pictures lately and they dont really show a lot of the progress we have with Charlotte going from baby the last time I was blogging to now so I will dedicate a whole post to her and what she has been up to and how shr has changed.

day 5 and 6 as I screwed up my days lol

Day 5 (which should have been sunday) five places you want to visit.

My first place would be Machu Pichu. I don't know why but it just looks amazing.

My second place would be New York. I am a sucker for being a tourist and love to do all the touristy stuff.

Next I want to go on an Arctic tundra. The main place would be in Canada but there are so many places you can go and I want to see polar bears and the northern lights. 

Then we have the Vatican City.  Now I am not Catholic but I am Christian and do feel there is something amazing about this place.

Finally we have the Sydney Opera House.  Not just there I would love to see so much of the country.

Day 6 (monday) favourite quote.

I have 2 main quotes that I love. First one is

'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return'.

I love this from one of my favourite movies moulin rouge.

My next quote is a mommy quote I painted above my bed which says:

'There's no way to be a perfect mom just a million ways to be a good one!'

Day 4: the best piece of advice you have been given

First I must add that this post is a little bit late as my reception on my phone is crappy but im able to do it now.

So I would say the best piece of advice I have been given was probably from one of my therapists. She said it is my choice if I let someone bring me down, its my choice to let someone make myself feel bad about myself.  I have always allowed people to dictate my emotions and now I realise they can only make me feel bad if I let them and this has made me really think about taking more control over my life. And to be happier in myself.

Day 3: where would you like to be in 10 years?

In 10 years time I will be 37!!!!!!! Thats shocking. I would like to think I would be married with more kiddies by then. I hope I will be a qualified children's nurse working in my ultimate goal of neonatal intensive care. It may take longer than I had planned as I haven't made it into uni on the children's nursing course so I have to make the choice do I wait a year, get some experience and reapply next year or try and get onto adults nursing which will mean I have to do 3 years of adult nursing then 18 month on a childrens course instead of just 3 years on a children's course.

I haven't uploaded any recent pictures of Charlotte as I am on my phone and am not sure how to do it so I have tried to do some just to see if it works.

Day 2: 10 likes and dislikes a day late I will explain

Ok so I wrote a post yesterday spent ages on it and posted it. This morning I come one to find out what todays post was to be about and realised I posted it to the wrong blog.  So I didnt break the challenge just blogged elsewhere so I will copy what I did yesterday below and then do todays post separate.

So for todays post I have to put my 10 likes and dislikes. So here goes.
Likes:
1. Watsits and cheese spread sandwich. This is my favourite snack.
2. Walking in the rain. As long as I dont have to be anywhere and ait in wet clothes I love walking in the rain.
3. Shopping. A bit of an obvious one being a woman but I cant help it. I get that happy feeling from buying nice things.
4. Cuddles. I am a sucker for a good cuddle preferably from a guy with big arms but cuddles from my little munchkin is always good too.
5. Therapy. I love my therapy. One on one or CBT I love it. I dont know how I will feel when its over.
6. Fresh sheets. No need for an explanation.
7. The feeling you get when you take your bra off after a long day. Sorry but sometimes us ladies just have to hang.
8. Reading. A life without reading would be very boring.
9. Movies. Same as books really life would be boring without them.
10. Flowers. Now I have never been given flowers without there being an apology attached.
Dislikes:
1. Stereotyping.  I am a single mom with no job so thats all people will see.
2. Mushrooms. They look vile, they smell vile and they squeak. Enough said.
3. Smelly people. There is just no need.
4. Coffee.
5. PCOS. It affects so much of my body its unreal.
6. Racism.  There is just no need.
7. Being a failure. I try hard to change my life around but dont seem to be getting anywhere. 
8. Self checkouts. Yes they are convenient but there is always an unidentified item in the bagging area. With a small child in tow it is normally them.
9. Old people. Not all old people but it seems the majority of old people you meet these days are ignorant, moany, ungrateful and down right rude.  I am tge type to hold doors open and you get more thanks from younger people than old ones. Its like they feel they dont have to thank you because they have earned the right to be treated like royalty.
10. Competitive parents. I do all I can for Charlotte and if that means making her party spectacular for her then thats how it will be but then the other parents try to make theirs one better but their kids are just not interested.

I am fortunate to have a very advanced 2 year old in both physical and mental development.  This is a gift which I love to show off on social media. I like to show that being a single mom I dont fit into the typical stereotype.  I give my child everything she needs to work at her pace and it has benefit us. Other parents has seen this as bragging and try to get their kids to do the same and when they cant its somehow my fault because I have given them an unrealistic view of a 2 year old. I measured Charlotte recently as I was in class and we were doing some true or false questions. The one was the hight of a child at 2 years old is approximately half of their total height as an adult. This was true. I said that would mean Charlotte will reach around 6 foot 4 as she is now 3 foot 2 and I could see a number of people look like I was lying so I took a picture of her next to the tape measure and people were shocked. I get asked all the time how old she is and they dont believe me when I say she is 2. She went for her 2 year development check and averaged 4 years in most things. I sometime forget that she is still just 2 and expect a lot of her but then I look at all the other 2 year olds in our family/friends (there are 5 born within 6 months with Charlotte being the eldest but the only one born premature) and I see just how mature she really is.

Day 1 of lent - Recent picture, basic things about you, love life or lack of.

So I will do the writing part first then I will post my recent picture at the end. so as I haven't blogged in well over a year there is so much different in my life. I am now a student, and I am hoping to get into uni but at the moment it has not gone too well. I want to be a children's nurse but got rejected for my choices for children's. I reapplied for adult but got one rejection and I am just waiting on my final choice. other than college I don't really have much else going on, I am very boring. charlottes dad didn't see her in over a year then decided last year he wanted to see her but he lasted 5 visits and he has given up. I have given him enough chances but he has ruined every one of them. the last we heard from him was on 22nd December. he sent me a valentines day card to me begging for me back. hell no am I going there again. he cant even stick around for his own flesh and blood. so onto the love life or lack of. well it is a lack of right now but I will let you in on a little secret. I have my eye on someone!!!!!! SSSHHHHHH!!!!! I wont put anything about him on here right now as I am not sure and I am just getting to know him so I will let you know, maybe by the end of lent I can say more. ok then so here is my recent picture, its not of right now as I have just been in the shower and look a mess lol.

Lent

I normally give something up for lent but I have decided this year I am going to make sure I blog every day for lent. I know I have abandoned my blog for well over a year when at one point I used to blog almost everyday. I suppose when you have a child its not always possible but I think it is needed most of the time. I decided I wont be giving anything up for lent but I will blog everyday using the 40 day lent blogger challenge. I will cover everything in the list and anything else I feel needs to be said.

These are the days I will cover:

1.      Recent picture, basic things about you, love life or lack of.

2.      10 likes and dislikes.

3.      Where would you like to be in 10 years?

4.      What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given?

5.      Top 5 places you want to visit.

6.      What is your favourite quote?

7.      What are you reading or what was the last thing you read?

8.      Name 3 things on your bucket list.

9.      3 things you want to say to 3 people.

10.  What is your zodiac sign and does it match who you are.

11.  Who are your top 5 celebrity crushes?

12.  What is one thing you miss from your childhood?

13.  What would you tell a 16 year old you?

14.   Your day in bullet points.

15.   If today was your last day on earth how would you spend it?

16.  What is in your handbag?

17.  What was the last movie you watched?

18.   What did you wear today?

19.   What was your biggest achievement?

20.  Share 3 things, 2 truths and one lie.

21.   What is your schedule for today?

22.  What is one thing you have always wanted to try?

23.   10 random facts about yourself.

24.   What is your favourite comfort food?

25.   What did you want to be growing up?

26.  What are your turn on and turn offs.

27.  Do you believe in fate?

28.   Write a letter to someone.

29.   Your current favourite show.

30.  3 random facts you found out.

31.   A picture of your family.

32.   If you were to write a book, what genre would it be and what would it be about.

33.   One piece of advice you would pass on to your child/children.

34.   How has your life changed in the last 5 years?

35.   What class do you wish you had taken in school?

36.   Share a recipe.

37.   Do you hide something that would shock people?

38.   Something you never leave the house without.

39.   Something that never fails to make you feel better.

40.  What have you learned in the last 40 days?

 

I will do day one post today in a separate post. 

People dont understand

I have never been one to think I am more important than anyone else. That my life is anymore spectacular than anyone elses. It has come to the point that I am a 27 year old woman who has more in common with a teen mom than a woman my age. I am a student, I am single, I have no job, I have no second parent input and I live with my parents. Many people see that as a positive.  'What could be so bad' 'you dont have all the bills to pay' 'you have 24/7 babysitters' how much of this is the truth? No I dont have all the bills. What is so bad? I dont have the freedom that you have in your own home. I have to stress I do not have 24/7 babysitters. My mom helps in the morning. Depending what day it is I get myself ready and I get Charlotte ready then I go to college (monday-wednesday) then yes my mom looks after her but I finish at 4 where I leave college on time no hanging around to gossip, staying behind to do assignments or simply going for a coffee. I meet mom to take over my parenting duties. I get in, drop my bag, forget about my day, ignore my assignments, and make dinner. This normally ends up with 3 outcomes. First I ask what she wants and she expects it to be ready there and then and then when it is cooked its rarely eaten. Second I decide what she will eat, cook it and her not want it and rarely eat it. And finally I let her pick crap to eat, crisps, meat, cheese and I might be lucky and she will eat it. Then I think about my own food. This isnt an easy task either because most of the time Charlotte wants something or needs me to do something. Then time goeas really fast and it is almost bedtime so I try and get her to tidy up while my dad sits there either teasing her, playing with the toys or feeding her his dinner. Then we hit 7pm I heat up some milk, make some juice, get the pjs, and make sure all the toys are away before taking her upstairs (this is on a day when she doesnt have a bath or shower before bed thats an even bigger struggle) we go up and she is jumping around because my dad has riled her up and I have to fight with her to get dressed for bed to be able to drink her milk and settle down before she either falls asleep on my bed or takes herself to her room. This brings us up to around 8pm. Its at this time I normally start to think about my college work.

Most of the time I have a little rant like today when I post that its a depressing thought when you realise the only time tou have to yourself in the week is when you have class or therapy. Then I get 2 comments saying its being a mom. I understand its being a mom but both of these have husbands. They dont understand.  They have time out, they have people to help with the kids or people to send the kids to when they want time off. I cant even get a sitter in in a week night because my dad is downstairs. I know what people think well my dad is there. That would be worse than leaving the 2 year old on her own. Then it comes to the weekend and I still dont do anything because to do something I have to have money which I dont have or I still have college work to do or everyone wants to go out and get pissed. What do I really want to do with my time??? I want to go to a friends house have a gossip, be Amy and not just Charlottes mom, watch a movie and not have to be on edge that she might wake up and I have to go and tend to her.

A recent family meal and there were only 2 little kids there mine and another 2 year old. There was older kids but no younger ones. There was 3 lots of kids not there. One took her one daughter but her bloke stayed at home with the other 2 older kids and the 2 year old. Another couple left all 3 kids with someone to come out by themselves and the last was one who commented she and her husband came and left their 2 kids with his family. And they say being with your kids 24/7 is all part of being a mom. They are able to go for a drink, coffee, game of bingo, movie and have plenty of people to look after the kids if not the dad. They dont understand that I dont have that option. If there is a family meal I have nobody to leave her with because everyone would be there.