I have never been one to think I am more important than anyone else. That my life is anymore spectacular than anyone elses. It has come to the point that I am a 27 year old woman who has more in common with a teen mom than a woman my age. I am a student, I am single, I have no job, I have no second parent input and I live with my parents. Many people see that as a positive. 'What could be so bad' 'you dont have all the bills to pay' 'you have 24/7 babysitters' how much of this is the truth? No I dont have all the bills. What is so bad? I dont have the freedom that you have in your own home. I have to stress I do not have 24/7 babysitters. My mom helps in the morning. Depending what day it is I get myself ready and I get Charlotte ready then I go to college (monday-wednesday) then yes my mom looks after her but I finish at 4 where I leave college on time no hanging around to gossip, staying behind to do assignments or simply going for a coffee. I meet mom to take over my parenting duties. I get in, drop my bag, forget about my day, ignore my assignments, and make dinner. This normally ends up with 3 outcomes. First I ask what she wants and she expects it to be ready there and then and then when it is cooked its rarely eaten. Second I decide what she will eat, cook it and her not want it and rarely eat it. And finally I let her pick crap to eat, crisps, meat, cheese and I might be lucky and she will eat it. Then I think about my own food. This isnt an easy task either because most of the time Charlotte wants something or needs me to do something. Then time goeas really fast and it is almost bedtime so I try and get her to tidy up while my dad sits there either teasing her, playing with the toys or feeding her his dinner. Then we hit 7pm I heat up some milk, make some juice, get the pjs, and make sure all the toys are away before taking her upstairs (this is on a day when she doesnt have a bath or shower before bed thats an even bigger struggle) we go up and she is jumping around because my dad has riled her up and I have to fight with her to get dressed for bed to be able to drink her milk and settle down before she either falls asleep on my bed or takes herself to her room. This brings us up to around 8pm. Its at this time I normally start to think about my college work.
Most of the time I have a little rant like today when I post that its a depressing thought when you realise the only time tou have to yourself in the week is when you have class or therapy. Then I get 2 comments saying its being a mom. I understand its being a mom but both of these have husbands. They dont understand. They have time out, they have people to help with the kids or people to send the kids to when they want time off. I cant even get a sitter in in a week night because my dad is downstairs. I know what people think well my dad is there. That would be worse than leaving the 2 year old on her own. Then it comes to the weekend and I still dont do anything because to do something I have to have money which I dont have or I still have college work to do or everyone wants to go out and get pissed. What do I really want to do with my time??? I want to go to a friends house have a gossip, be Amy and not just Charlottes mom, watch a movie and not have to be on edge that she might wake up and I have to go and tend to her.
A recent family meal and there were only 2 little kids there mine and another 2 year old. There was older kids but no younger ones. There was 3 lots of kids not there. One took her one daughter but her bloke stayed at home with the other 2 older kids and the 2 year old. Another couple left all 3 kids with someone to come out by themselves and the last was one who commented she and her husband came and left their 2 kids with his family. And they say being with your kids 24/7 is all part of being a mom. They are able to go for a drink, coffee, game of bingo, movie and have plenty of people to look after the kids if not the dad. They dont understand that I dont have that option. If there is a family meal I have nobody to leave her with because everyone would be there.
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