I am a day late again. I had to get a new phone so I am a bit delayed.
First person i want to say sonething to is Adam. I want him to really listen to me and stop trying to tell me what i am 'really' feeling so here goes.
'First off you need to move on. You are causing more harm than good by you keep sending stupid messages, letters and cards declaring your undying love for me but you keep turning your back on the one person you should live unconditionally which is Charlotte. I have no love for you any more. That was gone a very long tine ago. You knew from the start how i felt about giving people chances and you abused it. I cant think of any sane person who would have stood for what you did the first time you left never mind more than once. I was pregnant, scared and above all let down. That should have been the happiest time of my life but you ruined it for personal gain. I know you will always say you never left me to go back to her but you can't change the fact you already admitted it. You told her personal stuff about me and then did it again after Charlotte was born. If anyone was told of the things i had gone through they would say i have done the right thing. You always tried to convince me that you put your children first when.in reality you only put yourself and what you want first. You dont ask about your child, you never even asked how her treatment was going and if she still has any. Charlotte is my world and unfortunately you dont fit into that world due to your own fault and you will have to live with that for the rest of your life.'
The next person i want to say something to would be Adams mom. She never liked me or the fact that i had a different way of raising my daughter.
'For someone who was always talking about how the grandkids were the best thing in her life you have done nothing to be a part of Charlottes life. From before she was born it was all about sarahs baby because she allowed everyine else to take over so she didnt have to do it. You constantly. Slagged becci off infront of the children and infront of me when it was only because you are both so alike that you clash. When Charlotte was born you were rang at the sane time as my mom was at 11pm and you still moaned that we had waited 2 hours to ring you with the news. I had an emergency delivery which meant you were not top priority i was and Charlotte was not even Adam was a priority. I had to be saved. Luckily Charlotte was perfect but i still needed work then had to go into recovery. You were so bothered about not being told you never asked if i was ok. I didnt get my way, i didnt get the birth i wanted, i didnt even get a picture with my newborn but you were more important. Of course. I was discharged from hospital on the sunday and you didnt feel 'comfortable' coming to my house to see your grandchild so i had to bundle up my newborn on the tuesday and climb the 13 steps to get into the flat to be left alone while Adam picked you up and the whole time you were there you never once asked about me. Most of the conversation wasn't even about Charlotte. I dont know how many people understand but after a c-section.you are in serious pain, not just a bit of stinging pain in the vag, i mean you have just been disemboweled almost, you have no working stomach muscles and standing up straight is impossible. So for me to make the effort to come to you and for you not to give a crap make you very low in my opinion. Then we move on to when we would visit on the weekend. You woukd ask to hold Charlotte which you were able to then you ignored her to constantly moan about something. I was with Charlotte 24/7 but you still insisted you knew what she was crying for and not that 'mother knows best'. You undermined me like i didnt know what to do because sarah did it different. Then it came to her christening and you thought driving Johns grownup son back home was more important than being at your grandchilds special day. You even.had the cheek to ask me to change the date. All about you again. Then we have the time i finally got rid of Adam and you were asking when.you were going to see Charlotte because i wasnt letting Adam see her. You never listened to me i said i had given him the option of when to see her and you would have to arrange with him when you could see her. Then you even had the cheek to ask if you could come and pick her up from me and take her to your house. You let Leah ride in a car with no carseat before and.you almost let her choke i would be crazy if i let my child go anywhere out of my sight with you. Since then you have made no contact with me or sent a birthday card or anything but its ok. She gets all the love she needs from other people and you can spend as much time as you like slagging people off and treating sarahs kids like crap. Charlotte is much better off.'
Final person is my mom its very short but it says it all.
'Thank you for everything. If you didnt do everything you do i wouldnt cope. I couldnt wish for a better mother if I tried. You are helping to make me a better mother and Charlotte to reach her best potential. Thank you for believing in me i love you so much.'
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